Do you tend to say sorry unnecessarily? How many times do you apologise in a day? You are in a meeting, you find yourself apologising for asking a question….“Sorry, May I ask a (stupid?) question?” Or, instead of asking if your manager has a moment to talk to you, you apologize for interrupting her work. Sound familiar?
We all do it – we say sorry unnecessarily. There are better ways to communicate than defaulting to “Sorry.”
These are 3 steps to help you stop saying sorry and start responding with intention and feel more confident and in control!
Mom tip: Teach these to your child too so they learn their boundaries and communicate with confidence!
1. Self-awareness
The first step is to assess your own behaviors and tendencies. Are you really someone who apologizes way too much? It may help to keep a tally of how many times you apologize in a day and for what reasons.
And, if you do think you are, then, this is the first tip for you – The next time before you say “Sorry: again, learn to pause, take one breath and ask yourself “Am I at fault?” If you aren’t, stop saying sorry!
2. Communicate with Intention
Now that you have dropped the “Sorry”, what’s next?
Take a moment to pause and reflect before responding will help you gather your thoughts and choose your words to express yourself in a clear and concise way.
Say “Thank you” – when there is a problem raised to your attention, instead of defaulting to “Sorry”, say
“Thank you for bringing that to my attention”
“Thank you for your patience”
Use “I” statements – when you have a question or opinion, express your need without apologizing.
“I have a question / comment”
“I am unclear about this….”
“I wonder if this may work ….”
“I need to….”
3. Practise until it becomes second nature
It may be difficult to change immediately, but remember it’s because your neuropaths have been wired for years to say sorry! All you need is to start (and keep) practising! You can also ask your partner, family member or best friend to remind you when they catch you saying Sorry unnecessarily!
If you have any questions or suggestions, please always reach out to me! And for the ladies out there, I am hosting Part II of the Confidence Bootcamp where we will explore deeper into how we can enhance our confidence through communications!
~elynn