You Have Been Doing It In The Wrong Order

teo.elynn

Sep 28

4 min read

I did too. For years. Here is what changed everything.

The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything: Be. Do. Have.

Most of us have been taught to think about life in the wrong order.

Have the success. Do the work. Then finally be happy.

Or do the work. Have the success. Then finally be happy.

We tell ourselves: when I have the business, I will do what I love, and then I will be fulfilled. When I have the money, I will do more of what matters, and then I will be free. When I have the relationship, I will do life differently, and then I will be enough.

And it shows up in the smallest ways too. When I have more time, I will do the things I enjoy. When things slow down, I will spend more time with my kids. When I finally get there - wherever "there" is - then I will start living.

I know this pattern intimately. Because I lived it for years.

The Mistake I Made

When my children were toddlers, I told myself I needed to work hard and earn enough to give them the life I had always dreamed of. The stability. The holidays. The experiences.

So I worked. And we went on those holidays. Beautiful ones. And then we came home - and the cycle continued. Nothing had actually changed.

I told myself I wanted to spend more time with my kids. But I could only do that when I found a slower-paced job. I told myself I wanted to do something more meaningful than just being a CFO. But that could only happen after I retired.

I was putting my whole life on hold. Waiting for conditions that kept moving further away. Measuring every moment against an arrival point that never seemed to come.

I was waiting to arrive before I allowed myself to feel alive.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The Shift That Changed Everything

When I discovered the Be Do Have framework from my spiritual teacher, something cracked open.

The truth is this. You don't wait to have the outcome before you become the person. You become the person first. And then you do what that person does. And the having - the results, the outcomes, the dreams - follows naturally.

It sounds simple. But living it is a practice.

So I asked myself a different question. Who is the woman I imagine when I picture having everything I want?

And the answer surprised me with its simplicity.

She is passionate about what she does. She shows up for life fully. She loves the people around her without reservation. She serves the world in her own quiet, powerful way.

I didn't need the business to be successful to be her.

I could choose to be her right now.

What Happened When I Made That Choice

Something shifted almost immediately.

I stopped waiting to be happy. I stopped measuring my worth against my outcomes. I started showing up to my business - and my corporate job, and my family, and my community - as the woman I had always been waiting to become.

And here is the thing. I am still juggling all of it. The CFO role. The coaching practice. The wellness business. The community I love. I have not arrived at some perfect destination where everything is sorted and the to-do list is done.

But I am already happy. Already grateful. Already living a life that feels full and purposeful and mine.

Do I still have dreams and goals? Absolutely - one hundred percent yes.

But do I need them to happen before I become the person I want to be, and do the things I promised myself I would do?

Not anymore.

How to Apply Be Do Have to Your Own Life

Here is how to start:

1️⃣ Identify the outcome you are waiting for. What is the thing you believe you need to have before you can be happy, free, fulfilled, or enough?

2️⃣ Imagine the version of you who already has it. How does she feel? How does she carry herself? How does she treat herself and the people around her? What does she believe about who she is?

3️⃣ Choose to be her today. Not perfectly. Not completely. Just one small choice at a time. How would she start her morning? How would she respond to a setback? How would she show up for the people she loves?

4️⃣ Do what she would do. Take the actions that are aligned with who she is - not who you are waiting to become.

5️⃣ Trust the having. The outcomes, the results, the dreams - they follow the being and the doing. Not the other way around.

A Final Thought

Conscious manifestation is not about visualising and waiting. It is about becoming.

The life you want is not waiting for you on the other side of your goals. It is available to you right now - in the way you choose to show up, the way you choose to love, and the way you choose to live.

Be the person first.

Do what she would do.

And trust that everything else will follow.

Elynn Teo

Founder, The Mind Studio

CFO turned Coach

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